


Not A Fairytale

by Awakemoontonight



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, College, Major character death - Freeform, i don't know how to tag, taegyu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:21:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24021244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awakemoontonight/pseuds/Awakemoontonight
Summary: "What did you wish?""For me to meet you again." Taehyun replied with a wide smile, his eyes shining with tears.Or:I'm just joining this Taegyu angst fest.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 6
Kudos: 54





	Not A Fairytale

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really confident about my writings please be nice. English was not my mother tongue. 
> 
> I was listening to SB19 "Hanggang Sa Muli" when I was writing the last part and I made myself sad :(

Beomgyu and Taehyun met at their sophomore year. Never had Beomgyu thought that he'll even have a conversation with the brunette from the art faculty. It's not only because the art and accounting building was quite far from each other but also because Kang Taehyun had always looks cold and serious and he actually is. He never hold a conversation longer than a minute if its not school related or if you're not part of his little group. If you are not Huening Kai or Choi Soobin then drop your hope to even have a chance of a nod from him. He's also that smart ass of the school, representatives of the quiz events and ace of the soccer team. Its understandable how other student felt so small by just being under his gaze. 

So Beomgyu keeps his distance even when its unnecessary. He doesn't want to step on that gloomy atmosphere that seems to surround Taehyun simply because he doesn't want to have his mood ruined. There's also something about Taehyun that makes Beomgyu to just step back. He gives a vibe that he doesn't want to be held, like any minute he'll disappear and Beomgyu does not like it.

But then when he was asked by his professor to send papers to the art faculty, it's just his luck to see Kang Taehyun descending down to the stairs he was supposed to climb up on. Beomgyu immediately steps at his right, feeling nervous when the school's prodigy squint his eyes at him as if glaring and measuring his worth. That made Beomgyu froze on his spot at the bottom as the brunette watches his steps and continued down, very slowly. Beomgyu frowned. 

'Is he sick or what?' 

And when Beomgyu decided to ignore him, the shorter male miss a step. He should meet the floor with his face and support bruises and broken bones if Beomgyu did not sacrifice the papers he was holding to steady the boy on his feet. Papers flew around them as the blond hold the other on each of his shoulder, eyes locking together and Beomgyu have to hold his breath as wide eyes stared back at him, sparkling, addicting and just so beautiful. 

"Are you okay?" Beomgyu manage to ask when all the papers falls down to the stairs and the landing, going back to reality. His professor would probably scold him. But hey! he saved the school's prodigy, he deserves an award for it. 

The brunette blinks his eyes, trying to balance himself which he failed to do, yet he nods, biting his lips as the growing pain on his chest attacks him again. 

"You doesn't look fine." Beomgyu judged. He snake his arm around the boy's waist so he could use his other hand to fish his phone from his pocket making a call to his Yeonjun hyung for assistance. 

It's true that he doesn't want to be associated with Taehyun but he also didn't want to leave him when he looks so much in pain.

"I dropped all the papers of Mr. Kim. Can you please help me? I need to send Kang Taehyun to clinic." He explained when his call connects.

"What?! No! I didn't beat him up hyung!" He shouted to the phone when his hyung accused him. Beomgyu felt the body he was holding getting heavier and almost completely leaning on him, breathing was unstable and deep and makes him panic.

"Just give the paper to Mr. Kim please."

"Kim Taehyung of course. Its art faculty hyung! Gosh" He rolled his eyes, stepping back as he bend his knees to support the brunette on his hold.

"I really need to send him quick!"He replied hurriedly, putting his phone back to his pocket and scooping the boy by his shoulder and under his knees. It's good that their clinic was just near the art faculty or else he needs to carry an unconscious body around the campus. Even though Kang Taehyun was light as a feather, Beomgyu isn't the strongest boy and the fact that they are almost the same height does not help the blond at all.

As he reached the opened door of the clinic, he immediately run and put him carefully to the empty bed. He's all sweaty by then, arms numb and his legs giving up on him as he let himself fall on the bed beside. The nurse, Mr. Kim was already checking on him, particularly his breathing, sympathy was clear on his face. He pulled an oxygen mask and put it on the brunette's face, considerably calm, very opposite to Beomgyu's state. 

"He'll be fine." Mr Kim said, facing Beomgyu. Its as if it always happens and not something to be concern at all.

"What's wrong with him?" He asked, eyes never leaving the boy laying on the bed who's still breathing heavily.

"I don't think he'll appreciate it if I just tell you." The nurse told him, picking a clip board probably to write a record.

Beomgyu frowned, finally glancing at the nurse. "I saved his face from what ever is this. I at least deserves to know." 

Mr. Kim tapped the end of his pen to his plump lips as if thinking before he nodded. "Taehyunnie have a heart problem" 

"Didn't he just played soccer this morning? Is that alright" Beomgyu interrupted. Why would someone put their own health over a sport that could kill them. 

Mr. Kim only shrugged. "It's not but for passion, I guess" He replied but Beomgyu feels like there's more to it. "I'm gonna tell him you brought him here when he wakes up. Just write your name here." He said, handing the clip board to the student. 

"Does this always happens?" He asked, writing his name and contact number. 

"Only when he plays too hard." Mr. Kim answered, guiding Beomgyu outside of the room after he received back the signed paper. "Thank you for bringing him here, Beomgyu." The nurse told him with a smile and about to close the door but Beomgyu was quick to hold his foot out.

"Wait- Is it serious?" 

The nurse just smiled sadly at him and for Beomgyu, that was enough to answer his question and it did makes him more concerned.

"If you're worried, why not take care of him?" Said the doctor before thoroughly closing the door.

There's still questions that his curiosity wanted to ask but a smarter part of his brain told him that he doesn't have the reasons to form his thoughts into words so he chose to go back to his faculty, get his bag and go home. 

Why not take care of him? 

It keeps repeating on his mind and Beomgyu doesn't understand why he so much wanted to reply that Yes, he will. 

Then the next morning, he went to school with dark circles around his eyes because of lack of sleeps. He couldn't decide whether it's because of his unanswered questions yesterday or the way those eyes looked as if fairy dust sparkled them the very moment time slowed down the seconds, helping Beomgyu to appreciate it and get drown in them longer. How those pair of hazel orbs always looks cold and bored but that seconds looked as if he compress the stars, moon and the whole universe and fit it there. 

But he's sure it's either of the two. 

He walked to his locker like a robot to put some books he wouldn't need in the first period, not noticing a small figure waiting for him there until a hand pull on the sleeves of his uniform. He blinks twice before he realized that Kang Taehyun was there, looking up at him bored and uncaring. 

"Thank you for yesterday." He said, embarrassed that he couldn't even look at Beomgyu's eyes. 

Beomgyu shrugged. "Its nothing but please don't wore yourself out" He said and he's impress at himself for not looking stupid in front of his interest. Yes he admits that he had developed a not so tiny liking to the brunette. 

Taehyun glared at him. "Just because you helped me you have the right to tell me what to do." 

Instead of getting angry or offended, Beomgyu just shrugged and pats the other's head with a sigh. That puts a cute frown on Taehyun's face but Beomgyu continued anyways. "That's not what I wanted you to think but please be careful. Have someone to look for you." 

Taehyun huffed then stepped back away from Beomgyu's hand. "It's not even that serious and I have Hyuka, he was just busy yesterday." He informed, looking side way, trying to hide the blush of his face but unaware that he's just revealing more of his embarrassment by exposing his red ears. 

Beomgyu smiled. "Then I'll accompany you when your friends are busy. Hyung will take care of you" He said with a grin. 

Taehyun frowned again at him. "You're so weird Choi Beomgyu." he said, extending his arms to give a lunch box casually.

"What's this?" Beomgyu asked, holding the box carefully in both of his hands.

"To thank you." He replied. "And to bribe you not to tell about my condition." 

Beomgyu frowned but nodded. It's not his place to be involved so he just replace his worry with a chuckle. "Isn't it more convenient to bribe me with money?" He jokes. 

Taehyun just rolled his eyes, extending his hand to snatch back his bento. "How much do you want?"

Beomgyu couldn't help but laugh, the kind where the corner of his eyes crinkles as he hug the box tightly to his chest. "I'm just joking. I'm sure to enjoy eating this."

"You better be Choi." Taehyun replied a small smile on his lips that he tried to hide but his eyes speaks enough. 

"Call me hyung." Beomgyu pouted at him. 

Taehyun scrunched his nose. "Earn for it." 

Beomgyu raise his brow in disbelief. "I literally carried your unconscious body for minutes!" 

"And I cooked you a meal!" Taehyun retorted. 

"Wait- You cooked this?" 

Taehyun rolled his eyes once again. "Who else dumbass." He said, invading the blonds space and without a notice, fishes Beomgyu's phone from his pocket, making him flustered. 

"Hey!—" 

"Two pm. I have a game in the field." He said as he types his number and saved it to the other's phone before calling his own. 

"What's that for?" Beomgyu asked, catching his device when Taehyun tossed it to his direction without much of a care.

"You promised you'll accompany me." Taehyun said innocently. 

"I never promised—" 

"See you later hyung!" He cuts the blond's sentence as he waves a goodbye and run to his faculty. 

Beomgyu watched him with a concern filling his eyes. The art faculty was on the other side of the building and Taehyun would surely needs to run if he doesn't want to be late. So Beomgyu clicks his phone open, sending a text to the newly saved contact. 

"Be careful"

And since then, he couldn't detach the younger male from him nor have a plan to do so.

They had also combined their little circle of friends, doing stupid things together but not troublesome enough because Soobin worshipped the rules. Yeonjun couldn't even ditch a class or else he'll get a long scolding from the tallest male.

Everyday, they eat their lunch together and Beomgyu often steals a bite from Taehyun's home made bento and the brunette would just let him. Even suggesting to make an extra for the blond but Beomgyu always refuse. It's not fun without Taehyun sighing tiredly at him every time he suddenly bites the younger male's food right at his fork or chopsticks. While Beomgyu just grins at him then feeding him back so he could also taste the blond's lunch.

There's also this thing that Beomgyu learns from just being with Taehyun and that is he's really kind and selfless as what other people describes it. 

If there's a food flavor that no one likes, Taehyun will be the one to take and eat it. He would also lend his pen or umbrella to whoever needs it even when he's left without any that Beomgyu have to pick him up at the gate already drench and shivering. 

There's also one semester that Beomgyu shared a class with Taehyun and he couldn't count how many times the brunette raise his hands to answer in class when everyone was too nervous and afraid with their professors.

In other eyes, they'll say its because he's smart but for Beomgyu it's sacrificing because he only do that for the sake of others. And since then, the cold image that Beomgyu created for the younger completely disappeared and was replaced with this selfless person with warm tiny smile.

Beomgyu knew then that he fallen hard to the brunette. Kai's teasing was a reminder for him not to stare too long at the younger or show difference at how he treats Taehyun, so kind and loving. But what can Beomgyu do? Kang Taehyun occupy his time and mind.

After school when not busy with university, they would go to the arcade to waste time. It becomes their tradition, just the two of them. Or to the library when Beomgyu was too lazy to finish his homework and thesis. Its always him because Taehyun doesn't know how to procrastinate, he always acts as if there's no tomorrow. But what ever they decided to do, they always ends up eating cheap ramen noodles at the convenience store near the bus station even when the sun has long gone. They make their own recipes with what ever ingredients they could put their hands into. Luckily enough, none of them gets food poisoned yet. It's not like Beomgyu would allow it.

Then the blond did not bother to hide his feelings anymore, just waiting for a sign that maybe the other would feel the same. Yet every time Taehyun caught Beomgyu staring at him fondly, he would only snicker.

"Hyung, don't fall for me." 

Taehyun would always said with a playful wink and flying kiss. Beomgyu will just roll his eyes but there's still a smile on his lips. Too bad he's too deep to take the warnings.

And the way Taehyun would always hold his arms every given times does not help Beomgyu to swim up back to the surface where he could move on still. The way Taehyun would look at him when Beomgyu was just rumbling about trivial things, interested and lost, nodding or humming to show that he's still listening, responding shortly but enough to make Beomgyu feel that he's as if revealing the secret of the world. Taehyun would also question most of his decision but in the end he would just follow Beomgyu like a lost puppy and maybe that encourages the butterfly to fly around the older male's stomach.

And every night when they have to depart after their visits at the convenience store, Taehyun would hold his hand tighter with every step near the bus stop as if he doesn't want to let go. Opening conversation to slow their steps, showering Beomgyu with many compliments that the blond knew he doesn't deserve. He just joined the dance club, it's not like he beaten Yeonjun or did anything amazing, but here Taehyun was, talking as if he made the team win.

And that continued until Yeonjun graduated, then Soobin, now it's Kai, Taehyun and Beomgyu's turn. 

They knew they could no longer mess around, they'll be officially paying task and landing a job is a hard reality they have to face. Kai will help his sister with their family business while he play his piano whether on stage or in front of his students. Lucky guy, life was already set for him while Beomgyu was still conflicted to start his own restaurant with his father's help or apply at the corporation around the city. 

Truthfully, he's afraid to take another step, he's prepared but no one was actually ready for the harsh reality and responsibilities of life. He doesn't even know if he's skilled and smart enough accountant or what job he's actually landing to. And now he's fidgeting on his seat as their names was being called one by one to receive their diplomas. 

"You okay Hyung?" Taehyun asked besides him.

Beomgyu give a long sigh. "Just nervous." 

"You're just going to walk on the stage." Taehyun told him with a raise of his brow, purely confused. 

The blond huffed at his naivety. "Well unlike some smart ass somewhere who always receives trophies and recognition, I never actually just walk on the stage." 

Taehyun immediately hit him on his shoulder causing him to hiss and let out some profanity. "God, you didn't need to hit that hard" He complained only for Taehyun to push him up to stand. 

"Your name was called." Taehyun informed and Beomgyu's eyes widen, letting out another curse directed to his brunette friend who just snicker together with Huening Kai. And although flustered, he straightened his back before the emcee called him for the third time as he take that once in a lifetime walk to professionalism. Then the two brats eventually followed after more names.

After the ceremony, taking pictures and biding tearful goodbyes to their friends (it's actually just Beomgyu and Kai) they went to their favorite restaurant together with Yeonjun and Soobin to celebrate. The two older men congratulates them and Soobin wishes for fortunate future while Yeonjun did nothing but scared them with taxes and loans, earning him a jab to his ribs from their tallest companion, too hard that even Beomgyu winced. 

They were discussing their plans for their future, mostly just Taehyun's because he barely talks about it with the excuse of saving up and flying to Paris to continue his art, while all of them knew Kai's and Beomgyu's plan and worries. They are too excited and anxious to keep those to themselves.

"Are you really not continuing singing?" Yeonjun asked Taehyun while he slurped his noodles loudly. 

Beomgyu nodded eagerly. Taehyun was not that good at arts at first, couldn't even draw near a straight line and the other four was sure he's gonna shift course with how frustrated he is with the deadlines and so but as times goes by and more practices and paint stained shirt and fingers, he turned into amazing artist, giving portraits to his four friends on their birthdays, joining painting competitions and snatching trophies once again. But if you could compare Taehyun's singing to those, Beomgyu would personally signed him a contract to those idol agencies because Taehyun is just that great. But Taehyun seems to throw everything that he likes for canvas and paint.

"Or you could just sing once in a while. I can use your voice too." Huening Kai suggested. He's now proud that he could write 'pianist' next to occupation for his resume and would be glad to perform on stage with his best friend. 

"That makes me wonder too, why did you take Fine Arts when you're totally into biochemistry." Soobin asked him next. 

Taehyun just smiled at them calmly, his hand landing on the right side of his chest, clenching his uniform with his fingers. "It's what my heart wanted." He replied fondly. 

The other three nodded, teasing the brunette with the sudden cheesiness but Beomgyu stayed silent, frowning at the expression that Taehyun made moments ago. It's fond, there's longing, and most importantly sorrow...

"How was your heart?" Beomgyu ask absent mindedly, not moving his gaze at the boy besides him.

Taehyun blinks, looking back at him with a glare and warning. "It's fine"

Beomgyu rolled his eyes with irritation. It seems that all this time, Taehyun never told his other friends about his condition.   
"What's with that question?" Yeonjun asked.

Taehyun just dismissed him. "My crush rejects me." He lied and Beomgyu scowled but didn't push further. 

After they fill themselves, they went back to the local arcade, reminiscing memories as well as saying goodbyes to their youth. Taehyun also manage to win a dolphin plushie that he immediately gave to Kai, much to Beomgyu's pouting. 

"I'll win you this time." Taehyun told him for his third try, hands on the controller as he focused at the metal crane and the soft toys inside. He doesn't even notice how his words turned Beomgyu into a blushing mess.

And at last, the crane clamps at a brown bear, dropping it to the hole for Taehyun to take.

"See?" He said smugly, handing the toy to the now raven haired male.

Still flustered, Beomgyu carefully take it, hugging it to his chest. "You really won me there." He said bitterly before turning back, aiming for the exit. He heard Taehyun and the other shouting his name but he didn't stop. It's not fair that Taehyun makes him fall in love over and over again. At this rate, it's impossible to get up. And maybe this is one of the things he's afraid of after receiving that certificate and transitioning to adulthood. The thing that he thought was just a puppy love still remain and only keeps growing, and Taehyun wouldn't be there to help him. He'll fly into the other side of the world to continue his dreams without a care that he'll bring Beomgyu's heart with him.

"Hyung!" Taehyun called him, grabbing his wrist and spinning Beomgyu to face him, making him drop the stuff toy on the ground. "Are you okay?" Taehyun asked.

Beomgyu scowled. "I'm in love with you that's what I am!" He finally confessed. He didn't expect that loving was also this painful. Seeing Taehyun smile is just painful, hearing him laugh was painful too, just staring at him makes his heart ache for no reason than that he's very much in love. The butterfly in his stomach equaled to the pain inside his chest. 

Taehyun let go of his wrist, stepping back as if frightened. "I told you not to fall for me." He said with quivering voice, his eyes glassy and angry.

"It was never easy!" He shouted back, they are lucky they were far from many people and they could now scream at each other about the things they should have settled months or years ago. 

"Your smile. Your laugh. Your encouraging words, they all made me fall in love with you every single time!" He added, tears of frustration streaming down to his face.

Taehyun gritted his teeth. "Anyone can give that to you! Are you that easy Beomgyu?!" 

"No." Beomgyu sobbed silently, trying to stop his tears with the back of his hand. "Don't belittle my feelings" He glared even when his eyes sparkle with his tears. "You look at me as if I hang the stars and rainbows at your gloomy sky and it made me feel so so worthy." He cried. "And it frightens me, not your possible rejection or anything. It scares me how much I love you and how much of me you will take." He added, closing their distance so he could hold the other's hands. 

"H-Hyung" Taehyun stuttered, eyes stinging. "You should not love me." 

"But I did." Beomgyu replied steadily, tightening his hold to those pale arms.

"I wouldn't be able to stay with you. You know that." Taehyun explained, searching for the other's eyes.

"I know." Beomgyu sighed. "But I just needed to tell you. Don't you love me too? Even just a little?" He ask, brave enough. 

Taehyun let out a shaky breath, looking straight to the older male and with a little sad smile he replied. "A lot hyung. I love you lot." 

Beomgyu smiled as well. "Then that's enough for me. Let's stay in contact, okay? I don't want to lose you" He said, brushing his tears stained face.

Taehyun was full of hesitation but he nods, he can be selfish just once more.

"Promise me." Beomgyu asked, raising his pinky.

Taehyun chuckles fondly. "Promise." He answered. 

But Taehyun never keeps his promise. Months after their little celebration, Taehyun no longer replies to their group chat nor personal messages. And no matter how many times he refresh his phone, no new message was sent for him.

"You should go home." His friend besides his cubicle told him. 

It's past his work hours and he had finished his work for the day. Shockingly, Beomgyu was an efficient employee, not worrying about deadlines or piling papers and hard working enough to be promoted if he wanted to. But it's already boring just typing and computing in front of his computer, the upper floor is probably much boring and mechanical. At least here his mates were more fun and humane. 

Beomgyu nodded, arranging most of his things inside his side bag. "You're right, I have to visit someone too." he replied and walk to the bus stop. 

Instead of going to his usual route, he takes the opposite, then to a street he's not familiar with. Taehyun never invites them before and they know that he have personal reasons. It seems that even he himself doesn't want to go back home and it proves with how many times he sleeps over with the other four, especially Beomgyu. And those nights, Beomgyu uses most of his waking seconds just staring at Taehyun's perfect face. 

Upon arriving, Beomgyu checks the plate besides the wall if its really the Kang residence and when he was sure, he rings the doorbell, and seconds after a woman no older than fifty open the door, eyes wide, high nose and honey skin, like a female version of Taehyun. 

Beomgyu momentarily sigh in relief, at least he's in the right house. Even if Taehyun was not here, he could still get answer on his whereabouts. 

"Good evening." He greeted with a polite bow. "I was looking for Kang Taehyun" He added. 

The woman frowned at him, eyes darkening. "Who?" She ask, dangerously low. 

"I'm sorry is Ta-" 

"He's my visitor mom!" Someone shouted from the inside, voice in high pitch, and not Taehyun's. 

"Oh. He should join us on dinner." The woman suggested, a motherly smile back on her lips.

"He won't be long." The girl, only few years or so older than Beomgyu himself answered. 

"Nonsense. Bring him inside, this house needs more people." 

"Fine." The other replied with a defeated sigh. 

The woman went back, disappearing to Beomgyu does not know where. 

"I was looking for Taehyun." Beomgyu repeated, not as confident as before. 

"He's here." The girl answered with a smile, a sad one.

"Can I talk to him?" 

The girl nodded. "But after dinner like mom said. Get in." She said, opening the door wider. 

Beomgyu doesn't feel comfortable, the whole house have this gloomy atmosphere like the one that surrounds Taehyun years ago. He thought he was successful to remove it from the younger... 

"I'm Hyuna by the way. His sister." The girl, Hyuna said as they walk to the corridor, going to the kitchen.

"I'm Beomgyu." He introduced.

He was guided on a chair as food was serve for him immediately but he couldn't bring himself to touch it, even when the other two women started eating. 

"Where's—" He couldn't finish his sentence as a hand squeeze his shoulder, Hyuna shaking her head besides him. 

"Just eat. I'll bring you to him after." She whispered carefully when her mom stands up to get them new container of water. 

So Beomgyu does as said.

"You should bring more of your friends sometimes, Hyuna. It's too dull just the two of us." The oldest woman on the table said and Beomgyu frowned at that but keeps his lips shut tightly. 

"I'll try mom. Work was being demanding." She replied, as if her mother didn't just leave her other child out of topic. 

And they continue like that. The two telling stories about their days or a funny event from years ago, asking Beomgyu once in a while but with his short replies, they just leave him with his plate. He was waiting for them to mention Taehyun's name but it seems that the brunette did not actually exist. 

Beomgyu felt terrible to those night he refuses Taehyun many sleepovers unreasonably. This isn't home at all.

"Also Hyuna-ah. There's probably mouse or squirrels upstairs again. Please take care of that."

"I will mom. That's why Beomgyu's here." Hyuna replied, drinking from his glass and ushering Beomgyu to do the same.

"He's on the last room. Don't make too much noise. Don't ask him what happened" Hyuna told him when they reach the upper floor.

Beomgyu wanted to ask many questions, but he chose to open the door that Hyuna told him to. 

Taehyun was just there, sitting in front of the biggest canvas Beomgyu have ever seen. The older male can only see the side of the younger but the blank look on his eyes and the robotic movement of his hand was enough to make Beomgyu felt a twisting on his stomach. The butterflies dying. Not our of love but of pain.

"T-Taehyun" He called silently but he didn't receive a response. And Beomgyu was never the brave one so he close the door shut, breathing heavily with eyes widen. 

"H-Hey. What happened?" Hyuna asked him in panic, pushing Beomgyu out of the way to check on his brother. Beomgyu used that moment to escape. 

"Hey!" Hyuna called him again, holding his arms tightly. 

"I-I'll be back." Beomgyu breathed, eyes unfocused.

The life after college was never easy, Yeonjun and Soobin emphasize that enough. Soobin spent his five months crying and questioning the course he chose when his resume was put aside with a reply of 'we'll call you' and so. And Beomgyu so much wanted to believe that maybe that was the reason for Taehyun's devastating state. Arts wasn't usually prioritize and have too little opportunities. That could be that. But deep down, Beomgyu can read through his own unconvincing lies.

Starting from that night, Beomgyu spend most of his days to work, taking every possible overtime until he was promoted. But he didn't stop. He tries to save up, selling his branded clothing, accessories and the car he receives from his graduation, taking loans from his father and even limiting his food. 

And just after two weeks, he saved enough to afford an apartment that is good for two people. 

He immediately went back to Taehyun even when his apartment was too bare and empty save for his boxes. 

"You're back." Hyuna said to him when she opened the door, ignoring the dark circles around the male's eyes. 

"Please let me take him." He said, clenching his fist tight on his side. 

And like before, Hyuna just opened the door wide for him. 

Taehyun was still there, almost the same minus the color of the dress and the paint brush he was holding.

"Taehyun..." Beomgyu called again, careful but brave enough. But just like before, he receives silence and he didn't mind. He took too long to be back.

Beomgyu started packing Taehyun's stuffs in the bags he found under the bed, starting for his clothes and to his important possessions, the paints, brushes and the few canvases that could fit inside. All while Taehyun continue his painting.

And when Beomgyu was done packing necessary stuff he nudged the younger male on the shoulder. 

"Let's go home." He said. He wanted to cry at the blank look on Taehyun's face. 

The younger nodded, if Beomgyu was not focused, he would miss it. So he smiled, brushing the paint from Taehyun's cheek. 

"Let's go home..." Beomgyu repeated, this time a tear rolled down from his eyes. He's gonna take care of Taehyun, he'll put him back together.

Taehyun never gets better... 

No matter how many times Beomgyu tried. Picking every broken pieces of Taehyun he could fine, smoothening it over but there's always something missing. And Beomgyu was terrified of not finding it, leaving Taehyun with a hole, incomplete and cold.

After the first week of having Taehyun around physically, Beomgyu decided to call his sister to finally get his answers. He met her on a family restaurant, not before refilling Taehyun's paints and cleaning his brushes.

"I don't know what to do..." Beomgyu confessed, frustrated and helpless. 

Hyuna looks guilty on her seat, eyes never meeting the younger male's. "He's dying..." she whispered too quiet.

"What?" 

The older girl finally looks up, eyes sad and watery. "Beomgyu, Taehyun's dying." 

Beomgyu gapes, taking his time to process the information. "I thought he got better?..." 

"We thought the same... But the doctor said, he's supposed to die years ago and we should be grateful he's still alive until now...

You see, Taehyun was always sick when we where kids. They said he wouldn't reach seven but he did. It's a miracle. Then at the age of fourteen, doctors give us two months at most before his heart gives up. We were ready back then. Me, my mom and my older brother. We did whatever he wants, we gave him every thing that a child would wish to have, especially my older brother. Only transplant could save him but we couldn't find a donor." She explained, in pain just emembering those times.

"But he's alive... You found him a donor" Beomgyu supplied which she just nodded at.

She pulled her phone, turning it on and browsing to his gallery, showing a painting to Beomgyu. "Can you recognize the style?" She asked. 

"Taehyun" Beomgyu answered shortly.

She puts her phone back with a shake of her head. "It's not Taehyun's. God, that kid doesn't even likes art. The paints disgust him to the core." She said with a fond laugh, then tilting her head after as if in her own world, a different one. One that she couldn't have. "It's my older brother. He loves painting so much, he would spend a whole day to finish his canvas not even bothering to eat. But he loves Taehyun more." She said, wiping his tears as she unfolded the most painful part.

"We're all desperate within those two months searching for a compatible donor and I don't know what he's thinking when he suddenly disappeared." She continued, not minding her tears. "He called me, he said he found a donor and told me to go home and when I found him, he's dead on the bathroom, both of his wrist bruised and full of deep cuts."

Beomgyu's eyes widen, he couldn't utter a word even when he wants to, and Hyuna takes that as her cue to continue. 

"Surprisingly they are compatible as the doctor said even with small complications. Taehyun lives.

We doesn't want to tell him what happened but Taehyun was smart, he eventually knows.

And since then, he followed what my brother likes to do, starting from using bright shirts, eating strawberries that he doesn't like that much to the extent of choosing fine arts. 

He blames himself. He thinks he didn't deserves his life, thinks that he's the one that killed our brother"

"So he's punishing himself." Beomgyu interrupted once again. 

"Right. He throw all his science books, eat the food he hates, give everything he have even when he needs it more. He tires himself up, pushing himself to the limit. Taehyun keeps his windows open during winter that I have to always checks on him. God, he barely eats" She cried, brushing her tears aggressively.

"And my mom was not helping at all. She had a trauma when she loses her first child so he killed them both in her memories. She doesn't remember them anymore. I always have to make excuses about the paintings upstairs." 

And as Beomgyu thinks about it, the saying 'It's not the dead that suffers, it was the people left alive' doesn't seems more real at the moment.

"The night before your first visit. My mom saw him and god she's not suppose to do that. She still doesn't remember him but she knew that Taehyun have my brother's heart. She screamed, shouted, cursed and blame Taehyun and he's just there, crying silently while mumbling sorry repeatedly.

Then Taehyun went back to being himself years ago, we're back in square when I thought he could move on. Spend his remaining time happily but apparently, that's not the case..." 

"Is there's really nothing I could do?" Beomgyu asked after their long silence, after he found his voice back.

"His body was rejecting my brother's heart now and medicine was not working. We could prolong his life but he begged me not to put him back to hospital where he spent most of his childhood. Please just make him happy." She pleaded as Beomgyu nodded, already standing up and rushing back to his apartment.

Taehyun was not there when he arrives, and Beomgyu uses this much time to throw every art materials outside, but carefully hiding all the finished painting inside his own room.

And when Taehyun went back, hands full of new colors of paints. He step inside his room, looking everywhere for his stuffs. He was panicking and frustrated, searching the whole house.

"Taehyun, come here." He called him but was ignored. "Taehyun." He repeated but this time more stern, but still useless. 

"I throw them away." Beomgyu finally told him.

"Where?" Taehyun asked, standing in front of the main door, already putting his shoes.

Beomgyu huffed, the corner of his eyes twitching in anger. "I talked to your sister. When are you gonna tell me?" 

Taehyun stops on his track, eyes widening when he turned to the older slowly. 

"So never?" Beomgyu added when the younger keeps his lips shut. 

"I'm sorry..." Taehyun apologized. "I'm gonna move out." he added but Beomgyu just shakes his head. Holding his hand out a gesture for Taehyun to take.

"I don't want that." He said, forcing a smile. "Come here Hyun."

Taehyun complies, removing his shoes.

Beomgyu pull him on his chest when he's in reach. "How much long?" He asked.

"At least two weeks..." 

Beomgyu nodded, caressing the younger male's hair between his finger. "That short huh..." He breathed.

"I'm sorry..." Taehyun repeated but the older just shush him, taking his hand and placing it to his right chest.

"Fuck whatever your brother wants . You have this too." He cursed with a fond, sad smile and Taehyun takes his time to feel the beating under his palm, looking up to the older, biting his lips to stop his tears. "And my heart wants you to be happy. You don't have to punish yourself anymore. Do that for me?" He added in which Taehyun nodded at.

-~•~- 

"Hey it's cheating!" Beomgyu whined when he climb at the roof top of their apartment. Taehyun was there, sitting on a carpet that was once on their living room. 

Star gazing...

It's the last thing on Taehyun's bucket list. Above it was silly things such as visiting museums, feeding ducks, watching Beomgyu do his busking, dying his hair red and more that they haven't yet done but Beomgyu tries not to worry. Two weeks had passed, Taehyun was still here. There's a hope he shouldn't hold on to.

They shared many kisses too, saying I love yous at every given times but they never bother to tell what they are. Beomgyu knows why, Taehyun doesn't want to hold him down. 

Taehyun smiled at him apologetic. "Join me Hyung." He said as if it's not what Beomgyu's about to do.

Beomgyu suit himself besides the younger, wrapping his arm around his shoulder as Taehyun snuggles at his warmth. 

"Hyung, I love you." Taehyun sigh, closing his eyes.

"I love you too Taehyun." He replied as comfortable silence envelopes them.

"Do you think there's an afterlife?" Taehyun suddenly asked and Beomgyu have to hold his tears, looking up to the stars. 

"I don't know..." 

"I want to meet my brother again." Taehyun said, also looking at the sparkling dots above. 

"What are you even gonna tell him?" Beomgyu asked, controlling his voice and being a little more cheerful. Not yet. He doesn't want them to reunite yet. 

"That you stole my first kiss." Taehyun joked, squeaking slightly when the older tighten his hold. 

"No fair. You stole my heart first." 

"That's impossible stealer. Remember when we first met?" Taehyun ask, and Beomgyu look down at the eyes that held him captured all this time. Of course how could he forget. 

"When you slip at the stairs." Beomgyu replied, hissing when Taehyun elbowed him in his stomach. 

"That doesn't count. I was unconscious." Taehyun glared at him. 

Beomgyu chuckles, messing with Taehyun's hair. "Okay. Then when you give me the lunch box? Was I too handsome that morning?" 

Another hit on his stomach. "You look like shit that day." 

"It's because of you!" Beomgyu complained, pouting. 

"I know I'm too beautiful Choi. But back to my story, you said something that my brother always told me." Taehyun said fondly. "And even though I don't want to make a new friend then, I chose to be selfish." 

Beomgyu tries to find the words in his mind, but he couldn't remember anything at all. "What was it?" He asked slowly. 

Taehyun beams. "You said 'Hyung will take care of you.' and then send me a 'Be careful' text" 

"So you're saying you fell in love first?" Beomgyu asked with a raise of his brow. "I'm sure I was lost in your eyes, making me fall first." Beomgyu told him, too competitive. 

"I definitely fall— Oh my—" Taehyun gasped making Beomgyu panics. 

"Why?" 

"There was a shooting star hyung!" Taehyun whined. 

Beomgyu blinks. "Oh... What do you want to wish?" He asked. 

Taehyun grins. "It's a secret. I'm gonna tell you if there's another actual shooting star. What about you?" 

Beomgyu shrugged. "I don't know. Haven't think of it." 

Taehyun nodded in understanding. "But it should be good. Don't waste it." He said, there's a meaning behind his words but Beomgyu doesn't try to read it anymore. Nothing could ever be a waste if it's something for the one you love.

"What if there's only one shooting stars tonight?" Taehyun asked.

"Then we'll wait tomorrow again." Beomgyu replied hopefully and Taehyun just give him a sad smile. 

"Can I have this shooting star first?" Taehyun requested, pulling Beomgyu's hand into his, intertwining it tightly. 

"We can share it Hyunnie. There's probably more people wishing with the same star. They should manage." Beomgyu told him.

"You're right." Taehyun mumbled, nudging the older to remove his arm on his shoulder to place his hand to Taehyun's free one. 

Then they waited in silence until a bright shooting star was seen in their sky. They both closes their eyes for a wish. Beomgyu making it quick, holding his breath for those big sparkly eyes to open again. Beomgyu kissed him softly at his lips. 

"What did you wish?"

"For me to meet you again." Taehyun replied with a wide smile, his eyes shining with tears. 

Beomgyu bites the inside of his cheek, clearing his throat as his eyes watered as well. "You said not to waste a wish. Of course we'll meet again." He replied, hugging the younger and resting his head on Taehyun's shoulder.

"What about you?" Taehyun asked back, snaking his arms on Beomgyu's waist, too afraid to let go.

"For your wish to come true." Beomgyu replied, voice shaking 

Beomgyu feels Taehyun shaking his head and was followed by sniffles. 

"I'm sorry hyung." Taehyun sobbed, and it was Beomgyu's turn to shake his head. 

"Please stay..." Beomgyu begged. Days ago, he told himself that he will send Taehyun peacefully, that he's not going to make it hard for the both of them. He was prepared, they spent all Taehyun's remaining days together, almost completing the younger's short bucket list but like what he said before, no one was actually ready. 

Beomgyu doesn't want a tomorrow without Taehyun by his side, commenting coldly with a warm teasing smile. Taehyun's rare laugh and cute giggles and sounds. He'll never be ready to let go of any of that. 

"These days was my happiest, Beomgyu Hyung. I love you and I wish I could stay longer but my brother told me it's time to go." Taehyun told him with a smile, the tears never stopping, clenching the fabric of his shirt on his chest, right above his giving heart.

"Stay please Taehyun..." Beomgyu sobbed his words was drowned by his begging, hard to understand. "Please. Please. Please." 

Taehyun blinks his tears, sighing heavily. "Can I ask you one last favor hyung? 

Beomgyu gulped, nodding furiously, he so much wanted to close his eyes because of the pain, but he's afraid that when he opened it, Taehyun wouldn't be there. 

"There's a song we made back in college..." He started. "Can you sing that for me?" 

Beomgyu huffed despite the tears, a nostalgic smile on his lips. "You're a better singer than me." 

"Please?" Taehyun plead.

Beomgyu gave a small nod. "Be there till the end?" 

Taehyun closed his eyes, nodding with a smile. "Thank you, for everything"

Beomgyu's voice was shaky and out of tune, but it doesn't seems to bother them at the moment. He also slowed the song, taking his time, with his arms still surrounding the younger protectively. Even repeating the chorus and some lines again and again until it doesn't make sense at all.

"Hyung..." Taehyun whispered sleepily on Beomgyu's shoulder so the older male nodded to himself, starting the line of the last stanza with Taehyun joining him quietly. That puts a smile on Beomgyu's lips but does not last long when he could no longer hear Taehyun's voice on the very last line.

"Liar." Beomgyu chuckles, kissing Taehyun on his forehead, moving slightly so he could stare at face of the younger, now resting peacefully, and Beomgyu brushed his tears away, it never belonged there. 

"You didn't wait for the end." He cried. 

And he cried repeating I love you's over and over again.

He cried until Taehyun's sister found them at the rooftop, patting him with her own tears streaming down to her cheeks. He cried when people take Taehyun's cold body from him. Cried when his other three friends rush to his side, in the same state as him but his cuts was deeper and wider. Showing him their last messages from Taehyun, bidding goodbyes and all. They lost their friend, but Beomgyu lost a lot more, was robbed a life of happiness.

He cried at Taehyun's funeral, kneeling to Taehyun's grave stone even when it rains, as if the sky was crying for him as well. 

He cried because this isn't like the stories he had read. That with his love and sincere kiss, he could save the day. There's no magic, no stars that when he wish with all his might, a glittery smoke will surrounds him and bring back his love. 

_"It was never a fairytale but until we meet again"_


End file.
